Ace Tennis Coach

BY LORINDA JARVIS

Coach Harry Silverstein advises Kierstyn Fenimore, far left, and Sophia Pasquale. Photo: Courtesy Stockton University

Click. It was that fast. One moment, Harry Silverstein, a Vineland seventh-grader, was into baseball. The next, thanks to a family friend, he was holding a tennis racket. And that was it. An obsession was born.

“I fell in love with it,” said the 68-year-old coaching legend.

He still plays twice a week, but Silverstein is done with coaching. 

“There comes a time when you just know that you’re done,” he said. “I just want to spend more time traveling and enjoying myself. I don’t have the passion that I once had.”

In South Jersey, everyone who knows tennis knows Harry. If you don’t, hold my beer: 

• 11 years as head coach of the Stockton University girls tennis team. Every one of his teams during his time as head coach finished with a winning record. They managed double figures four times, with a 12-win run during the 2022-23 season.

• More than 30 years as head coach of Vineland High School girls tennis team from 1984 to 2014, notching 465 wins. He also coached the boys team from 2002 to 2014, grabbing 172 more for a career record of 628 wins overall.

• New Jersey Athletic Conference Coach of the year twice and recognized by his fellow NJAC coaches three times. 

• Four Cape Atlantic League championships for the girls team and two for the boys. 

• Nine division titles and the 2005 South Jersey Group IV girls crown.

• The Daily Journal’s Coach of the Year five times and the N.J. Boys Tennis Coach of the Year in 2006-07 by the New Jersey Scholastic Coaches Association.

• Inducted into the New Jersey Coaches Association Hall of Fame in 1998 and New Jersey State Interscholastic Athletic Association Hall of Fame in 2000.

Working for lessons: Silverstein wasn’t from one of those families who had the money for tennis lessons. 

When he was in the seventh grade, Silverstein’s friend, who had recently moved to Vineland from Kansas City, Missouri, asked a question that would change everything.

“He invited me to play tennis one day. I said, ‘Sure.’ I fell in love with it,” he said.

But tennis is an expensive hobby. The equipment, the court time, the lessons all cost serious cash.

“My parents weren’t rich. And people who were wealthier played tennis and took lessons.”

That never stopped him.

At first, he would simply sit and watch others play the game at what was then called the Sinnet Club (Tennis spelled backward).  Later, he did whatever he had to do.

“I would do odd jobs, I would sweep the floor and take out the trash,” he said. “That’s how I got my court time.”

That’s also how he paid for the clinics held by the tennis club. When he got to Vineland High School, he was unable to play as a freshman but joined as a sophomore.

“We had a ladder. You had to work your way up,” he said, adding that he played first doubles as a sophomore, then third singles in the third year. “If I recall, I went undefeated,” he said.

His senior year, he moved up to number one, but it still wasn’t enough. He joined the South Jersey Men’s League, where he played adults. “You had to be really good to play in that league,” he said. 

When he became a freshman at Glassboro State College (now Rowan University), he would play alumni at the school on the courts seven days a week. At the college, he and high school friend Sam Gassell partnered up, winning the Garden State Athletic Conference for Division III. 

In his senior year at Glassboro, Silverstein focused on student teaching, graduating in 1979 with a degree in health and physical education. Eventually, he worked for two years at Folsom Elementary School near Hammonton. He earned a special education degree and landed a job at Vineland High School. 

“And I stayed there for 32 years,” he said.

He immediately landed the role of assistant girls tennis coach that fall, becoming head coach in the fall 1983 season and staying until 2014.

Girls vs. boys: Harry has always enjoyed coaching girls. “Girls will listen a lot more,” he said. “If you get them to respect you, they’ll play very hard for you.”

However, coaches shouldn’t raise their voice at them, he said. “Be careful of the things that you say. They are very sensitive, some more than others,” he said.

With boys, “you could be a little harsher, more abrasive,” he said. 

Among his players, Silverstein became known for his somewhat obnoxious ways. “I would pace like a nervous father. Some people could hold it in. I had to let it out,” he said.

Silverstein, who serves on the state tennis rules committee, is critical of the rule that restricts coaches from communicating with players, unless it’s during certain times.

“In other sports, you can talk to your players any time,” he said. “So, you couldn’t talk to your players. You couldn’t tell them what they’re doing wrong. It’s so stupid. We’re trying to change that rule.”

He said the rule was likely created to speed up the game and also to balance the scales that gave more experienced tennis coaches an advantage during the season. Many people do not want to change the tradition of that rule, but Silverstein said it’s time to let it go.

Harry being Harry: Silverstein used everything in his playbook to inspire his kids. Along with the familiar pacing as his students played, Silverstein is known for a few choice phrases and more than just a few antics.

“I used to cheat a little,” he said. In tennis, he sometimes employed a certain formation known as the Australian. However, sometimes his athletes would forget what they practiced. It took a little creativity to remind them.

“I couldn’t tell them to go into that formation, so I would tell someone on the bench, “Hey! When are you going to Australia?”

He was the guy who would scream, “That’s what I’m talking about!” from the sidelines when they did what he asked them to do.

And they might hear him scream “AD.” 

“That means all day,” he said. “When they’re hitting the shot I want them to hit, I’d say AD—all day.”

Silverstein admits he could be a little too much sometimes. 

“I was a little obnoxious, too. When another player was choking, I would say they’re having an ‘epiglottis’ attack. People heard me, but a lot of them would ask ‘What’s he talking about?’ ”

Few people in Vineland know more about Silverstein’s antics than his best friend, Dom Massaro. These two guys go back—way back. 

“We played on the same high school team. We played on the same college team. We both married girls named Andrea, and we’re still best friends today. And we taught Phys. Ed. together,” said Silverstein. 

The two friends were a little like two guys on a classic 1970s TV show.

“We are opposites,” Silverstein said. “Remember The Odd Couple? I was Oscar, he was Felix. He’s low key. I was fiery. We complemented each other really well.”

“His favorite phrase is that he’s a legend in his own mind,” said Massaro, 65, of Vineland. “I don’t think there is one person in New Jersey who doesn’t know who he is. Quite a few people know him by name.”

Silverstein and best friend Dom Massaro, back in the day.

Massaro calls him an excellent coach, “very dedicated, very intense.”

When other coaches took off in the summer months, Silverstein would be out there, still putting in more work.

“He’s one of the top coaches in New Jersey, without a doubt,” he said. “His total wins in high school and college are pretty impressive.”

And if you were expecting Harry to watch old reruns in retirement, think again, his friend said. “He’s still at it today. He does lessons, he does clinics. He’s not gonna stop anytime soon.”

‘Give it your all’: Sophia Pasquale, 22, believes she will carry the lessons that Coach Harry taught the team with her always.

“He taught us to fight till the last second and give it your all,” even if you were losing your match,” she said. “He told me to never give up, and he told all of my teammates the same thing.”

Pasquale was a student at Holy Spirit High School when Silverstein approached her and told her he liked the way she played. He invited her to play on a clay court in Vineland, then offered her a spot on the team at Stockton University, where he has served as head coach for the last 11 years.

She played sports her whole life and doesn’t see his coaching style as obnoxious at all. The fact is, Silverstein knew how to inspire his athletes.

“He is passionate about the sport, and he lit a fire under us,” she said.

Coach Harry wouldn’t be shy about jumping in if they were short a girl during practice. 

“I was surprised by his tennis game. He has something about his ground stroke that was difficult to return,” she said.

He loved every part of the coaching role, including hitting a restaurant after a long day of playing.

“I honestly think Coach Harry would look forward to that,” she said. “He’s just funny. And he was really enjoyable to be around.”

The coach respected the need to do well in classes, and tried to teach them lessons that would carry them through life.

He taught us things outside of tennis,” she said. “He taught us things like how to be a good person. That really stood out to me.”

Florida bound: At the end of his career days, Silverstein simply wants to spend time at his second home in North Fort Myers, Florida. Just as his best friend predicted, Silverstein said he’s not done playing tennis, though. Silverstein will be playing community tennis in his neighborhood, with 17 teams of men and women, most of them older than 55.

He hopes his kids remember one thing about him.

“I hope they remember the passion that I showed every time I stepped on a tennis court,” he said. “I don’t think there’s anyone more passionate than I was.”

No one ever needed to look for him in a bar or in a casino. His family and friends knew right where he would be at all times.

“Everyone knew where I was,” he said. “I wasn’t drinking, I wasn’t gambling. I was on the tennis courts. I want to be remembered as passionate about the game.”

FUN FACTS ABOUT HARRY:

• Favorite sports movie: Brian’s Song.

• Favorite tennis player: Roger Federer. “He’s just so graceful. He’s an amazing tennis player and he has a great demeanor at court.”

• Brush with Greatness story: Silverstein is friendly with Rick Macci, the pro featured in Will Smith’s movie, King Richard. Macci is the tennis pro in the movie and is a former Vinelander who taught at the Tri City Health and Racket Club in Vineland for two years. Silverstein was visiting with him in Florida when he noticed two girls tossing a football back and forth. “See those two girls?” Macci asked Silverstein. “You’re gonna be reading about them some day.”  Those two girls? Venus and Serena Williams.